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Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Y 10:02 PM here's to my secret valentine(s): when my world is falling apart and when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when i look at you. when the waves are flooding the shore and when i can't find my way home anymore, that's when i look at you. Labels: colors that cover me. Sunday, January 31, 2010
Y 7:15 PM
What's new? Nothing. Well, the story of my life has been pretty much the same since the last couple of weeks but it only got worse a few days ago when it just hit me in the face, like real hard, that I'll have to live with 150 bucks for the next few weeks until next month's pay because my Mum's being very calculative lately and is asking me to pay her back for every single cent that I took from her in the period that I was broke from spending money foolishly. Oh well, wtf. The least I could do now is complain. Other than that, I ain't got no other choice but to sit at home. Like for an example, today. What a life, I know right! T_T But truth be told, I missed LD so much even when we've been talking so much on Skype for the past few days and even on Msn. You know, it's like there's something about him that calms my heart and makes all my worries hide. I think I might have a minor crush on him maybe because he makes me very comfortable just being around him. I do know one thing: I don't have to hide my flaws when I'm with him. I can just pour out my feelings to him and feel good about it. But also, I'm not going to let my feelings get ahead of me this time because this one isn't going to work out any different either. This one, like the rest, appears like a dream to me and nothing more. That has always been the case with me. Like a miracle is ever gonna happen anytime soon. Well, ok. In my dreams, maybe. Pfft, cheap thrill! -.- By the way, I already ditched Pops over the internet last night. Lame, right? I know. But the sooner the better. I don't wish to wait another 5 weeks to do so. Besides, the night I ditched him was the night I realized that I'm not afraid to be mean and bold and nasty. I'm usually very nice but I have tons of issues I have to deal with, and the more I delay in dealing with them, the more it adds up to my already piled up misery. I hate my life, not because of how it turns out to be but because it feels like I haven't done enough to make it any interesting. You know they say: Life's what you make of it. I've been too busy running around looking for nothing that I barely have the time to sit down and do some thinking about how I want my life to work out for me and how I want it to be. There's so many things to do, yet so little time. It sucks even more knowing that I have to face this all alone. Fuck, I miss LD. Fuck, I miss Pops. Aku confuse uh. I just want a heart that I can call home. It's been almost 6 months. Why is it so hard, still, to move on? p.s, I want to go to +00131 to find my 8th world wonder! Labels: sappy. Saturday, January 30, 2010
Y 4:28 PM Spending the whole weekend at home this time round, and trust me, I am almost going bonkers! You know, I can't imagine the agonizing pain I have to go through from having to face my parents the whole of Saturday and Sunday. Obviously, it's not what I look forward to but since I'm almost effing broke at the moment I guess going out and spending the last few tens of dollars on god knows what is not exactly what I have in mind for now. I'm just going to spend the next few weeks at home and do nothing, which is not very exciting. Oh well, what the fuck. Does it look like I have an option? No. But still, why do I get a feeling that life will be really hard for the next couple of weeks? Fuck it. At least now I can make full use of Skype and watch a lot of tv and just be very lazy from all the relaxing on the couch. Besides, life has always been a bitch anyways. I won't die from the lack of fun. Maybe just a little deprived but I can take it. Nothing is fun when the only thing you hear in your mind is: A little bit longer and you'll be fine. Oh, trust me. Especially when your own flesh and blood doesn't even spare a thought for your feelings when you're at the lowest point of your life. Someone remind me, why is it that the lucky don't care at all? Big F. p.s, I think ditching Pops was the smartest decision I've made so far. Kuddos! (: Labels: when the stars explode. Thursday, January 28, 2010
Y 3:41 PM
Just giving a shoutout to my 8th world wonder: The smell of your skin lingers on me now. You're probably on your flight back to your hometown. Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they? When you're gone, I'm going to miss you like a child misses her blanket, but I've got to move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now and big girls shouldn't cry. Lots of hugs, and here's to a lasting long-distance friendship ahead. xo my secret valentine. Even if what we had didn't last for as long as we wished it could, you were the closest thing to cloud nine and you'll never be replaced, ever. Labels: +0131. |
LITTLE•MISS
 E F A Forever21 this is a weird world, and i'm one weird little girl. because i hate goodbyes. L O V E cuts like a knife, better believe i bled. |
