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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Y 8:56 PM
and I've become this empty page. xoxo Labels: what say you now. Thursday, November 12, 2009
Y 8:31 PM Expect a thousand For once, I actually thought I met someone different than the ones I've met before. He's like Peter Parker without his Spiderman suit on; he's humble, nice and kinda attractive in his own weird ways. He's somewhat weird in a good way, for sure I thought. He is quite reasonably cute for an average guy, definitely. He doesn't have to tell an interesting story to make an impression. He is a guy with few words. He is so laid back, so calm and collected it's almost impossible to tell whether that's just the way he is or he just doesnt give a fcuk about what happens around him. His smile so coy, even the meanest thing on Earth would give up being mean. His presence so warm it creates some sort of static energy or something. I mean, omg. Barang baik pe. I know I should never settle for less but with a face like that, I can always make do with less. Not a problem with me. I think he's pretty handsome awkward, I do but pffft! So now I know why they say when someone's just good and he's really good, he's just too good to be true. Not a good thing. No go! Labels: kissed a fool. Saturday, November 07, 2009
Y 5:45 PM You're full of shit. You've blown it. i like you but i like you more when you're gone, nizar. I logged in to blogger a few seconds ago with the intention to ramble on and on and on about almost all the shit I've been through the past couple of weeks thanks to some unwanted fucks. But now I'm facing a slight blogger's block. #1, I have so much to blog about but I don't know where to start. #2, I want to sound as professional/untouched as possible, like as if I've dealt with a couple of heartbreaks since forever but they never quite got me. #3, I don't wish to talk about it but I wanna get it out of my system so I can breathe. Sometimes letting go of the one thing she thought was good enough for her and just about perfect for her, is the hardest because she already registered him in her brain. For her, love is like a permanent high she can't live without while guys are like a temporary high she wants to experience every time she stumbled upon one. She's not trying to act all promiscuous or easy. She just wants a little affection and attention which no amount of close friends or family members put together can offer but only from a certain kinda guy she feels emotionally attracted to. It normally feels like magic if a guy hits on her but it hurts like hell and back if their intentions are only about getting in her pants. She wishes she could just stop giving a fuck about the whole world and live in her own world. But little did she know there is only one world and it spells unfair. Still, she lives on in her own weird world where only she knows what she wants, why she wants it and how she goes about getting it. To some others, she is just a she looking for a he to complete a picture. But if you take a minute to just talk to her, listen and watch as the words come out of her mouth, you may just see that the wounds can never heal and the cuts only got deeper each time she tries to bounce back to reality. She can never get better. She's lost all the faith. I don't know how to tell her how much I care for her and how badly I wanna help her mend her broken heart. If only she'd let me in easy without putting on a fight. I wanna live inside her and show her what she deserves best after all the pain she's been through, I wanna let her know that there's more to life than just picking up all the pieces and putting them all back together to make them whole. It's not as easy as it seems but if I can get inside her brain, I wanna stay there for good. I don't wanna let her suffer. I don't want her to settle for anything less. I want her to be happy. I want her to never go wrong again. I want her to smile because she deserves to. I want her to see that it doesn't take just one of those boys to complete her. It takes a man with a lot of guts and a lot of affection to offer. But most importantly, I want her to always be aware that the man who deserves her is the man who's willing to spend the rest of his life with her without having to hurt her and to show her that love does not have to hurt no matter what the reasons are. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible for me to even reassure her that there is someone out there like that because for me, men have died. The ones lingering out there, they're poison; fucking parasites! So fuck it and suck it in like a big girl, you silly little girl. Labels: strange feelings come to visit. |
LITTLE•MISS
 E F A Forever21 this is a weird world, and i'm one weird little girl. because i hate goodbyes. L O V E cuts like a knife, better believe i bled. |